Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
