I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
