why didn't you poke me back
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
