I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
