S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
time to smoke my breakfast
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
This is my gift to your gina
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
