So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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