It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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