Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
