You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
