i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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