how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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