Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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