Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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