I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
