btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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