I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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