I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
