He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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