One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
