you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
The adults are the big ones right?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
