what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize