You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
