I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
