we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
