Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
