he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
