I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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