Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize