When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
