The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize