ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize