i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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