I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
