If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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