just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
