After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
