Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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