Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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