I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
