Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My breath smells like gin and sadness
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
