I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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