I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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