Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
