There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
