Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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