You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
