there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize