I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize