in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
