i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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