I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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