My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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