Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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