i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
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