He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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