she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
splinters make it hard to masturbate
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
