We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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