dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
