I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
