Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
