come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
