I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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