even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
