Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
