We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
