Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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