So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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