I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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