Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I will die if light touches me.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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