you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
