wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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