u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
