but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
