I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
