Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
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