At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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